What's It Like to Be You, Chuck?

When you, Anthony, and Cindy came walking down the hall that evening, I remember looking at your outrageous* hat, blanching, and exchanging a baffled look with Cindy.

I knew very little of Cindy at the time, so what passed between us, to me, felt like an awareness that she and I were both looking at something so shocking that neither one of us knew the best way to broach it, and, we both realized there was no getting around the fact that we both knew the other had seen it.

Anthony, Cindy, you, and I—and, I believe, Mark Rambacher and Kris Asselin, though it’s possible they didn’t see the hat itself—were inside the elevator when I said, from the back row, “What’s with the hat, Chuck?” You were closest to and facing the door when you explained that it would be hard to explain because it was a “family joke.”

I suspect you thought that was the end of it.

Sure, there was my email, which you could read (or ignore) at your leisure, but you should also know that I felt it was necessary to call Anthony and Cindy because they saw the hat, and I wanted them to know that I’d addressed it with you.

Candidly, when I told Anthony, I didn’t get the sense he much cared, and when I told Cindy, I didn’t get the sense that she thought much would change.

And to be fair, you’re probably thinking, “Why now? Why if this happened years ago would Jenna Brownson bring it up now?”

For three reasons:

First off, to admit that I am ashamed that I did nothing substantive years ago because I didn’t want to get on your “bad side.” (Though, I’m going to guess I have safely arrived there now, on Chuck’s Bad Side, which is weird since I wasn’t the one wearing the hat.)

Second, because dated hate speech is still hate speech.

It is possible, and I hope it is the case, that the thought of putting on a hat with that word emblazoned in all-caps is something that, today, you would not do because 2023 Chuck Decoste is a better version of the 2019 one. That’s for you to know about yourself though.

But most importantly, I’m bringing this up now to illustrate a larger point, which your outrageous choice of hat can serve as a colorful, and I hope memorable, example.

And my point is this:

If you’re a straight, white guy with power, influence, and money (SWG w/PIM), you can pretty much do whatever you want—and you can do whatever you want with impunity, literally moving through the world without fear of punishment.

Because who’s going to punish you?

You’re on top. You’re in control.

If you’re a straight, white guy with power, influence, and money, like you, Chuck, you can safely regard yourself an apex predator in the food chain of late-stage capitalism.

You win.

But at what cost?

I’d like to find out,

Jkb

*I really struggled to pick a word to describe your hateful, homophobic, marginalizing, discriminating, “joke” of a hat. “Outrageous,” in addition to being satisfying to annunciate, is more about the audience’s reaction to the hat than the hat itself. I suppose “repulsive” and/or “repellant” also could’ve worked.